‘Covfefe’: Trump invents new word and melts internet.
BBC News – 31 May 2017

A teeny tiny typo? An alphabetic slip? But what if there’s more rhyme and rhythm to this than meets the mind’s eye? It is said that between the Big Bang and the boon-bane bend of the space-time continuum, a few rare cosmo-karmic phonetic phrases were coined using astro-numerology guidelines. Such words might not enjoy logical lexiconal legitimacy, but they represent irrepressible reincarnic reminiscences. Such rare words are safely stored in the subtle and surreptitious section of the soul’s subconscious, surfacing suddenly in succeeding lifetimes.


ONCE UPON A REINCARNATION – part 1

A WORD ABOUT COSMO-KARMIC WORDS…

Faithful follower of the moon, tell me soon, who is this new Yogi with a silver spoon?

Apparently he used to be a tramp, Sir.

As in vagrant vagabond?

Yes Sir. But he got ambitious, got into real estate, got rich, got famous, got a few wives, then got a radical thought, ‘hey, why not become a Yogi…’

Well, I never… has Yogification become that easy?

I think that’s not a real word, Sir.

Well, it should be, it sounds grand.

Anyway Sir, this tramp had a knack for wheeling’n’dealing and always had a trump card up his sleeve… that’s why he is now known as the Trump Yogi.

What’s in a name? But how is he able to mystificate people?

Again, I don’t think that’s a dictionary-validated word, Sir.

Never mind your dic-val words. Is it true he charges money for cattle to graze on his land?

That’s right, sir. He charges a fee for cow grazing rights. He describes it as a ‘Cow Fee, Almost free, Lesser if you bring three, More if grazing under a tree’.

But I heard he charges gullible farmers twice for one graze.

Oh, that! Yes, he charges a fee for a cow to enter his property, and another fee when it leaves. This two-timing charge is called a CowFeeFee.

Are people crazy? Why would they pay twice?

Ah, that’s where his clever marketing strategy comes in, sir. He claims his land is irrigated by a Holy River, and all growing greenery is venerable vegetation. In fact, he calls it his ‘green, green grass of Aum’. And any cow feeding on this blessed grass would become a Holy Cow.

But why charge twice for that?

You see, the first fee is for the ordinary cow going in. The second fee is for the Holy Cow coming out.

Holy Cow! Is he that cunning, or are our people that gullible?

He just happened to be the right rightwing face in the right place with the right fame, making righteous claims.

That’s one right too many, but apparently it’s all going wrong now. Including his spelling.

Oh no, sir, that’s done on purpose. After performing a few intricate karmic calculations using cosmic numerology, he found that 9-letter words would not bode well for him, but 7-letter words would bring great luck. So, he shortened the 9-letter ‘CowFeeFee’ into a lucky 7-letter ‘CowFeFe’.

But that still doesn’t explain the plight of the misspelled ‘cow’, which has turned into a ‘cov’.

Well sir, you might think it’s part speech impediment and part bad spelling. But no… he has an explanation for that too. The Yogi claims the ‘double-u’ is a confusing consonant. It is put together using unsophisticated, unfashionable ‘U’s as its components. This could lead to a destiny-dichotomy and a yin-yang conflict. So the Yogi says this discrepancy would be resolved if cute and acute ‘V’s were used instead. The ‘V’s are composed of ultra-straight astral-plane lines, making it more stable and advantageously auspicious.

And this word represents magical mystical morphemes?

Apparently he thinks so, sir. He tried other 7-letter combinations, like Cowfeef and Covffee, but none had the prosperity-plethora and fortune-fattening effects of this word.

And has this brought him luck?

Well, sir, he is starting a gambling casino based on his lucky Covfefe.

And what does he call his gambling casino?

Since it’s mostly for newlyweds, young lovers and amoral amorists, he will call it his ‘Lovfefe’.

How ridiculous! How the heck is this charlatan able to fool the public with his shenanigans? But speaking of the public… what are the people saying about me?

Mostly good things, Sir. After you moved out of that Great White Cave and started meditating under a shady Sage Bush, they are now calling you the Great White Bush-Yogi.

Hmm… Yogi G. W. Bush! I could get used to this name, hope it follows me into a fortune-favored future.